Life in Napa

The following commentaries about life in Napa appear below:

1. Killing Them With Kindness

2. Life in Downtown Napa

3. Napa County Grand Jury - Inquiring Minds Want to Know

4. If Your Toaster Blows, Perhaps You Should Blame PG&E

5. Physics 101 for Depth-Perception-Challenged Drivers

6. Sometimes Nice Guys Finish First
7. The Emperor Has No Clothes
8. 50 Years [Married] and Counting
9. Never Argue With An Idiot

Killing Them With Kindness

by Skip Keyser
(Originally published by The Napa Valley Register, October 18, 2004)

There is no distance on this earth as far away as yesterday.  Robert Nathan 

I have the good fortune to belong to a local service club.  I venture to say that if your child plays at any one of more than 34 local elementary school playground sites with modern equipment, the Kiwanis Club of Napa, thanks to the efforts of Jim Roberts and with the help of Napa Unified School District, Community Projects and various parent-teacher groups, installed that playground.

The club also has a weekly speaker program.  These speakers are generally informative, frequently entertaining and occasionally provocative.

Such was the case a few weeks ago when the commander of the local California Highway Patrol office spoke to the club.  He touched on a number of subjects having to do with life as a CHP officer for more than 1/3 of a century.

He also spoke about the current trends in highway safety enforcement, including the nearly 6-fold increase in tickets issued by the CHP to those traveling over 100 mph on our streets and highways.  This amounted to over 2000 citations in a recent 12-month period.

Inevitably the discussion turned to Jamieson Canyon and the generally pathetic attempts to minimize the loss of life along this 7-mile highway of death and destruction.

And just as inevitably the audience split down the middle on various solutions and side issues, not the least of which were the current debate over the merits of the local transportation tax proposal and whether this would – as it applied to widening of Jamieson Canyon – lead to the demise of life in Napa Valley as we’ve come to know it.

Whereupon it was pointed out by two of our older members that we were confusing two issues, namely the issue of widening and improving Jamieson Canyon with the issue of making this section of Highway 12 safer.

On this there was general agreement.  Notwithstanding Solano County’s rumble strip and Napa County’s plastic tubes (a substantial number of which appear to reside in the horizontally flattened position), there was little disagreement that both of these efforts would fail to prevent cross-over head-on collisions and – inevitably – the loss of further life to the citizens of Napa and Solano counties. 

And about the best that could be said about Napa County’s plastic tubes was that they are hard to tag (unlike our highway signs and the recently opened Trancas-Redwood-29 underpass).

To the next question, that of what – in light of various budget, environmental and right-of-way concerns – could be done to make Jamieson Canyon safer, there was further general agreement: concrete barriers.  Cheap, easy to install, ugly as the day is long, but – as proven on Highway 37 – effective in saving lives.

Now as it turns out, our club also had a Cal-Trans speaker a couple of years ago, to whom this same question was put.  His answer was that there would have to be provision for a number of openings allowing access to various driveways and such.  Apparently, such barriers were not in keeping with Cal-Trans’ lengthily studied and highly engineered approaches to highway safety.

Render – as Julius Caesar may have said  – unto me a fracture! 

Without being too maudlin or too inflammatory, there are this day residents of Napa who will die on Jamison Canyon because some bureaucrat living in Sacramento – or some slow growth advocate living in Napa – put aesthetic concerns above concern for life.

Or failed to understand the theory of probability, namely that even with the provision for access openings at each and every driveway, there would still be substantial portions of Jamieson Canyon which could be made safer by concrete barriers.

Let there be no question about it – if we wait for Cal-Trans to solve this problem on their own schedule, or if we cave into unfounded and ill-placed arguments that attempts to make Jamieson Canyon safer are tantamount to opening the flood gates to Napa, we are – as a conservative estimate – looking at another 10 to 20 years before something is done. 

In the interim, if and when you travel along Jamieson Canyon, stay alert, keep both hands on the steering wheel, your foot not far from the brake, and drive as far to the right as you safely can.

And remember that the only thing standing between you and some irritated inattentive idiot about to pass over the double yellow line on a blind curve, some drunk driver, or some vehicle about to experience a blowout or other mechanical failure, is a 2-foot wide rough spot in the road or a bunch of flattened plastic tubes.

And the failure of the residents of Napa and Solano counties to hold their elected and appointed officials accountable for failing to solve this problem.

Keyser lives in Napa 

Life in Downtown Napa 

by  Skip Keyser
(Originally published by The Napa Valley Register, December 27, 2004)

My wife has her hair done at a hair salon on Third Street.  She enjoys talking with the owner and catching up on the comings and goings in downtown Napa and she likes the job he does.

I, on the other hand, have my hair cut at a downtown barbershop located in the opposite direction on Third Street, not to far from our office.  This is your basic barbershop and that – besides its proximity – is what I like about it.

My characterization of the no-frills, basic haircut approach of this barbershop is not intended as a pejorative statement.   I grew up in the south (San Fernando Valley), and until I was about 18 my hair had always been cut by my father, a real estate broker and consequently self-taught in the haircutting trade.  The fact that he was almost completely bald (and had been since his late teens), coupled with the fact that our family didn’t have a lot of money, probably inured him to the quality and fashionableness of his efforts.  As for me, I was both too young and too callow to appreciate his efforts on the one hand or to regret their impact on my appearance on the other.

My transition from home-style haircuts to military barbers was therefore less traumatic than my contemporaries.  For those who have not had this opportunity it is an experience to remember. 

Civilian barbers on military bases got paid by the haircut, so there wasn’t a lot of time for conversation, such amenities being an impediment to their income.  This also happened to be in the early 60’s, well before Admiral Zumwalt and his “mod squad” attempted to bring the Navy, kicking and screaming, into something resembling the 20^th century.  By that time, I had grown accustomed to the standard “rip and tear” (now known as “high and tight”) $0.25 haircut available at all military barbershops. 

Military haircuts are a visceral event.  Concurrent with minimal conversation, most military barbers did not spend a great deal of time sharpening their clippers, ergo the “rip” in rip-and-tear.  You didn’t need a mirror to know you had received your money’s worth, because you physically felt the hair being removed from your scalp.

I’ve always suspected this – along with a propensity to smack my head into low-hanging pipes and valves – accounts for the fact that my hairline, far from receding, is in full retreat.  There isn’t a lot of vertical clearance aboard submarines, especially the two WWII-era diesel submarines on which I first went to sea.  Being somewhat slow on the uptake, it took me a long time to develop the hunched-over posture that is de rigueur to rapid fore and aft travel onboard ship. 

This is also before the popularity of ball caps in the Navy, and I know of no one who wore their white hats or combination caps while underway, particularly on diesel boats.  Most of these boats had seen duty during WWII when the emphasis was definitely not on long-term (or, I suspect, even short-term) preventive maintenance.  And, the atmospheric conditioning equipment so prevalent onboard nuclear-powered submarines was conspicuous by its absence.  Consequently the air was permeated with a combination of lubricating and cooking oils, hydraulic fluid, diesel fumes and other sundry particulate matter, the origin of which I will leave to the reader’s imagination.  This did, however, have the benefit of coating the skin with a preservative that, in conjunction with the lack of sunlight, kept most of us young and good looking, and belied what we considered to be our “steely-eyed killers of the deep” personas.

This, of course, is in no ways a condemnation of our attempts at personal hygiene.  On board most submarines of that era - even the improved Guppy class boats – the combination shower-toilets (“heads” in the vernacular) were always packed with food, consumables and spare parts.  This, combined with the minimal fresh water sporadically available from the boat’s two small vapor-compression distillers, most of which was reserved for servicing the main propulsion batteries, dictated what was euphemistically referred to as a “submarine shower.”   This consisted of splashes of lukewarm water under the arms coupled with liberal applications of Aqua Velva.  It also made hair tonic (this being well before the use of hair spray by men was accepted) utterly redundant.

All of which has had two significant impacts on my life.  I enjoy long hot showers and have never been able to justify having my hair cut at a beauty salon.

And it also means I have to rely on my wife to learn a lot about what’s going on in downtown Napa.

Keyser writes from Napa

Napa County Grand Jury – Inquiring Minds Want to Know

by Skip Keyser

(Originally published by The Napa Valley Register, April 8, 2004)

Sometime later this summer, forty or fifty citizens of Napa County will be issued a summons to appear in Department A of the Consolidated Courts of Napa County on Tuesday, June 29^th.  There they will find assembled the commissioners and judges of the court as well as the court executive officer, a clerk of the court and one or two court bailiffs.

Although these citizens won’t be photographed or fingerprinted, they will be issued an identifying number.  Following a few words by the presiding judge, a drawing will take place.  Shortly thereafter nineteen regular and a dozen or so alternates will be sworn in as the 2004-2005 Napa County Civil Grand Jury.

Contrary to popular belief, the grand jury will not don robes and hoods nor will they conduct their business in the dark of the night, using stealth and intrigue to stalk their unsuspecting prey.  Instead, they will begin a systematic and thorough examination of approximately one-quarter of the governmental offices, organizations and agencies that comprise the county and it’s cities in an attempt to ensure the citizens of Napa County are well and truly served by that government.

Now a wag once observed that there are three great lies in the world.  The first great lie is embodied in the simple phrase “Trust me.”  The second great lie is “The check’s in the mail.”  And some think that the third great lie is “Hi, we’re the grand jury and we’re here to help.”   

However, if the grand jury does it’s job, they will - between August 2004 and June 2005, when their written report is due to the presiding judge - attempt to do just that, help improve the operation of local government.

And what will they find?  If past is prologue, they will find that the vast majority of city and county employees are hard working, dedicated individuals who take their jobs seriously and try to serve the citizens of Napa County to the best of their ability.  Occasionally, they will find areas that need improvement.  And very occasionally, they will find areas that require wholesale revamping.

Who are these grand jurors?  Surprisingly they are just like you and me: strong, good looking, intelligent and (like the children of Lake Wobegone) all above average. They will also begin to appear, by the time June 2005 rolls around, a lot like someone who just ran their first marathon; tired, exhausted, but with a look of satisfaction that comes from having completed a difficult and challenging task.

What does it take to make a good grand juror?  Like the lead-in to this commentary, it takes an inquiring mind.  It also helps to have a finely honed sense of fair play, since nothing so undermines a grand jury report as biased, unfounded, unsupported or unfair conclusions.  And since you will no doubt be dealing with eighteen other strong-willed, assertive type A’s, it helps to be able to write and speak forcefully and hold your own during the grand jury’s debate, discussion and deliberation.  Truth be known, wallflowers generally won’t make good grand jurors. 

Neither will those who come to the grand jury with preconceived ideas, hidden agendas or axes to grind.  And – given the necessarily cooperative and deliberative nature of the grand jury – loners should probably find something else to occupy their time.  So, if you came home from kindergarten with a “Does not play well with others” report and haven’t changed since then, do your fellow jurors and the citizens of Napa County a favor and stay home.

But, if you enjoy hard work (we might as well be honest about grand jury service) and the thrust and parry of debate, if you are organized and really want to understand how local government works, if you want to contribute something to your community, and if you enjoy a challenge, then perhaps the 2004-2005 Napa County Grand Jury is just the thing for you. 

Want to find out more?  Go to the Napa County Superior Court web site - www.napacourt.com - and click on “Grand Jury.”  There you’ll find an overview of the grand jury as well as an application questionnaire.

Or you can contact Superior Court Judge Steven Kroyer or Assistant Court Executive Officer Georgene Larsen before April 30^th by phone (299-1106 or 299-1113), by email (kroyers@napa.courts.ca.gov or georgene.larsen@napa.courts.ca.gov), by fax (299-1250) or by snail mail (825 Brown Street, Napa CA 94559).

Tell them you want to be one of the few, the chosen, the brave – a Napa County Grand Juror.  You’ll never regret it and you’ll have the time of your life.

And, it’s a piece of cake.  Trust me.

Keyser served on the 1994-1995 Grand Jury, was foreman of the 1995-1996 Grand Jury and co-authored, with Irv Baum, the Napa County Grand Jury Manual

If your toaster blows, perhaps you should blame PG&E

by E.M. Keyser III, PE

(Originally published by The Napa Valley Register, May 27, 1999) 

On Wednesday May 19^th, The Napa Valley Register, under the “Our View” section of the Opinion page, in an editorial titled “If your toaster blows, blame the bad driver” made the case that Pacific Gas & Electric bears no blame in the recent Silverado Trail power pole accident that resulted in damage to electrical equipment at numerous homes and businesses.  Assuming the editor of The NVR was not once again indulging in irony (sometimes it’s hard to tell) I beg to differ.

The decision to locate high- and low-voltage power lines on the same poles was a business decision made by PG&E in order to minimize operating and capital investment costs and thereby maximize share-holder return.  To the extent that this decision exacerbated the damage caused by Sunday’s incident, PG&E does bear responsibility, just as PG&E was recently found to bear responsibility for northern California wildfire damage made worse (if not caused by) PG&E’s decision to cut back on right-of-way tree maintenance, once again in order to minimize costs and maximize profits.

As a registered engineer (in California and Idaho) who has over thirty-six years experience in the private and public power generation field, and who had the opportunity to work as a Power Plant Engineer/Capital Project Coordinator at PG&E’s Morro Bay Power Plant (MBPP) in 1992, 1993 and 1994, I gained some insight into PG&E’s operations, including how the tri-annual rate case is made to the California Public Utilities Commission, how PG&E’s electrical generation costs compare to other utilities across the country, and how the rate-payer’s money is spent.

Contrary to the statement attributed in the Register’s editorial to PG&E that by “saving money, utility rates are kept down,” California in general and northern California in particular, enjoys some of the highest electrical utility rates in the country.

While at MBPP, I also had an unusual opportunity to see how some of PG&E’s revenue is disbursed.  The next time you have the opportunity, ask your friendly PG&E representative (hopefully not the one you talk to when you have a claim to submit) about:

·      The resort camps carved out of the hydro-electric power plant watershed reserve lands up and down the northern Sierras, at which PG&E employees and their families can reserve wilderness cabins for their exclusive use at a fraction of the price non-PG&E employees would pay elsewhere.

·      The end-of-outage barbecues (replete with four-string quartets) held after (and sometimes during) maintenance overhauls.

·      The machinists who make (with overtime, double-time and – if it can be arranged – triple time) over $100,000 per year, often times because (as the saying at MBPP went) “while there’s never enough time to do it during the regular work day, there’s always enough time to do it on overtime or on the weekend.”

·      The 15% discount PG&E employees get on their utility bills.

And while you’re at it, ask PG&E why, with the average electrical production costs in the U.S. hovering around 2½ to 4½ cents per kiloWatt-hour, PG&E’s costs of production are upwards of 7½ cents per kW-hr (or 11½ cents per kW-hr at the Diablo Canyon Power Plant, but that’s another story and another rate case!).

And then tell me again why PG&E doesn’t bear any responsibility for the power surge damage.

Hello?

 (The writer lives in Napa County and was fortunate enough to only lose one surge protector, 2 GFI electrical outlets, a color TV, and a heating, ventilation and air conditioning system during the recent electrical surge event.  After this is printed, he looks forward to reduced electrical service and increased utility rates.)

Physics 101 for Depth-Perception-Challenged Drivers

by Skip Keyser
(Originally published by The Napa Valley Register, March 29, 2005)

rant \’rant\ vb [obs. D ranten, randen] vi (1602): to scold - vehemently

I enjoy living in the unincorporated area between Yountville and Napa and – on occasion – drive to work down Big Ranch Road.  Inevitably, somewhere around Salvador or El Centro Avenues, someone will pull out, causing those of us immediately behind this individual to wildly slam on the brakes in an attempt to avoid modifying the rear-most appendages of said driver’s vehicle. 

There ought to be a law.

In fact, there are a couple of laws.  Some can be found in the California Vehicle Code, some Darwin pointed out when he addressed natural selection, and some have to do with physics.  I’ll address the latter here while leaving perusal of the Vehicle Code to the reader.  [In so far as natural selection is concerned, I don’t think I’ll live long enough for this to have any beneficial effect on the quality of driving found in and around Napa.  But I keep hoping.]

As to the physics of the situation, it appears that more than a few drivers lack a “seaman’s eye” with regard to judging oncoming traffic and the spacing required to safely insert one’s vehicle into the path of an approaching car, a car which does – after all – enjoy some nominal right of way. 

To give you an example (based on the oncoming traffic not exceeding the 50 mph speed limit on Big Ranch Road, allowing one car length of spacing for every 10 mph of vehicle speed, and using uniform acceleration), if you pull out in front of me and accelerate to the speed limit in 14 seconds (normal acceleration), you need to allow 580 feet of clearance to do so safely.  And if you put your foot into it and accelerate to the posted speed limit in only 10 seconds (the technical term for this is “really honkin’ on”), you still need to allow 460 feet, or about 29 car lengths. 

Still too slow for those of you who attempt to insert your vehicle into any 17-foot opening in traffic?

Well, even if you borrow NHRA-champion John Force’s carbon-fiber bodied, aerodynamically enhanced, supercharged, nitro-methane fuel-injected, 7000+ hp 2004 Ford Mustang funny car, capable of a ¼-mile ET of 4.665 seconds and achieving a top speed of 333.58 mph, then - assuming you can withstand the accompanying 5+ G-force without blacking out, have a full load of fuel, have just completed your burnout, and get on it right smartly like - you still need to give me about 177 feet of clearance.  While most of this is  - admittedly – the safe-vehicle separation distance, and while it’s unlikely I’ll spoil your spoiler in this example, you get the point.

And if you’re competing for the I-Missed-The-Point-Of-The-Week award, let me spell it out for you: Wait for a safe opening in traffic before you pull out, Dummy.

Hey, I told you you’d get the point.

Now, as luck would have it, the Register allows me 800 words, so I’ve got another 283 to address another Napa Valley Driving Irritant – BUVs.

Some of you probably think the Register just made a typo and should have printed “SUV” instead of “BUV.”  Wrong.  It’s BUV – as in Butt Ugly Vehicles. 

Because they are. 

Not only ugly, but, as pointed out in Malcolm Gladwell’s 2004 article in The New Yorker magazine “Big and Bad – How the SUV ran over automotive safety,” and as Keith Bradsher writes in his book “High and Mighty”– internal automotive industry market research shows that SUV owners tend to be “…people who are insecure, vain, self centered, and self-absorbed, who are frequently nervous about their marriages, and who lack confidence in their driving skills.”

Check!

Now I admit these vehicles are impressive.  Heck, it’s always something to see half the free world’s chromium reserves coming down the road at you.  And if you happen to be in a crosswalk and look up to see one of these BUVs bearing down, you immediately know what a small fishing trawler feels like just before being crushed under the bow of a supertanker – small, insignificant and mortal.

But there is hope, again in the guise of Darwinian Selection.  For contrary to popular belief, SUVs are not safer than normal vehicles.  Again, to borrow from Gladwell’s article:

“…in a 35-mph crash test, the driver of a Cadillac Escalade has a 16% chance of a life-threatening head injury, a 20% chance of a life-threatening chest injury, and a 35% chance of a leg injury.  The same numbers in a Ford Windstar minivan…are, respectively, 2%, 4% and 1%.”

Another piece of apple pie, please.  Play ball!

Ain’t it a Hummer…I mean bummer?

Keyser writes from Napa

Sometimes Nice Guys Finish First 

by Skip Keyser
(Originally published by The Napa Valley Register, February 26, 2005)

The race is not always to the swift nor the battle to the strong – but that’s the way to bet.  Damon Runyon

My Mother taught me how to play poker.  Among other advice she gave me in this regard was “Son, always sit with your back to the wall and your eye on the door.”

On those occasions when I attend City of Napa council meetings I try to follow her advice.  This means I usually sit at the back of the room.  As in poker, this affords a certain advantage.

For example, several months ago the Mayor was being upbraided by one of the council meeting regulars.  I forget the particular subject about which this individual was taking umbrage, but I’m sure it was important.  Otherwise why would the speaker waste the public’s time?  However, I just don’t recall the specifics.  And, truth be known, the frequent appearance by this particular individual, coupled with inevitable requests for page numbering and extensions to the allotted speaking time, occasionally blunts the audience’s attention and the speaker’s effectiveness. 

But I did pay attention when the subject of street sweepers came up.  And I paid enough attention to discern that somehow the Mayor’s competence was being challenged by the speaker’s repeated inquiries about the exact number of street sweepers currently employed by Napa.

What viewers watching on television and those sitting in the front of the council chambers saw and heard was the Mayor – without missing a beat  – answer with the correct number of street sweepers employed at that very minute by the City of Napa.  The speaker was – for once – nonplused. 

But what was visible to those of us following the poker playing advice of my dear old Mom was a member of the public works department - sitting in the audience and out of sight of the speaker – signaling the number of street sweepers to the Mayor by raising 4 fingers.

I mention this only because it illustrates what I’ve always suspected - that the Mayor’s grandfatherly appearance, quiet demeanor and benign countenance belie an astute politician who doesn’t miss much.

And one who can play the audience and control the council in subtle and polished ways.  I know this because I witnessed it first hand on another occasion.

Now in fairness to readers, I need to disclose that I belong to the same service club as the Mayor.  And although he exudes an air of shyness and reticence, he actually has talents of which the public is probably unaware.

For instance, the Mayor – when pressed and given the microphone – can speak at length in public.  And – again unbeknownst to the general public – the Mayor is unrivaled in his musical ability on the drums.  Furthermore - in spite of what must be a demanding schedule - his attendance at our weekly club meetings is unmatched.  Consequently, he is frequently the subject of our prayers.

Therefore, when I planned to speak before the council on matters having to do with affordable housing, I spent a considerable amount of time ensuring my remarks were accurate, but little time worrying about what the Mayor would say or do. 

As I recall, I was the first speaker.  As regular council meeting observers will attest, public comments are only infrequently preceded by remarks from the Mayor, his chosen approach generally being to let the public and then other council members have their say before he weighs in. 

Not in this case.  Before anyone had spoken, the Mayor made a short comment having to do with how he viewed the situation and our proposal.  I didn’t pay particular attention to this, being nervous about what I was about to say in public, so it wasn’t until I returned to my seat that I realized what had happened.

And what had happened was that with a few words, before the public had spoken and long before the council debated and voted on the matter, the issue had – for all intents and purposes – been decided. 

Or, to put it bluntly, we had been defrocked, defeathered and defeated before we even started.  And in a way that didn’t unnecessarily ruffle feathers or close the door to further discussion of the matter.  In short, in a non-confrontational, professional, yet effective manner. 

And this, I propose, is what the City of Napa needs in its next mayor – someone capable of working with - not against – the citizens of Napa and the other council members.  Someone who won’t just tell the public what it wants to hear in order to buy support. 

Anyone can be partisan, divisive and confrontational.  What the City of Napa needs is someone who can be impartial, cohesive and professional.  Someone who can work to solve – not create - problems.

Keyser writes from Napa

The Emperor Has No Clothes

by Skip Keyser
(Originally published by The Napa Valley Register, October 29, 2003)

If you take a walk downtown, you will come to the conclusion that several buildings suffer from a particular sort of blight.  In the industry, we refer to these structures as Buildings Un-Treated or Tended, Un-Gainly and Literally Yucky.

This is a mouthful, even for commercial real estate professionals.  Not surprisingly we use an acronym to describe this type of building: B.U.T.T.U.G.L.Y.

And they are.

Worse yet, they have an adverse impact on the numerous attempts to re-vitalize downtown Napa, efforts which over the next couple of years should culminate in the resurgence of this world class city as a vibrant center, not only of the City of Napa but of the county.

Additionally, the neglect of these buildings, not by absentee landlords but by owners who live in our own community, constitutes a veritable thumb-in-the-eye to the remaining building owners who strive to maintain their property. 

And these dilapidated, vacant buildings cause other problems:

• They negatively impact the property values of adjacent properties.

• They reduce the tax revenue available to the city and county, while requiring the same – if not more – police, fire and infrastructure services.

• They endanger adjacent buildings.

• They present a picture of downtown Napa as a blighted area.

Which buildings are these?  The five major structures that immediately come to mind are:

1. 826/828 Brown Street, directly across from the county courthouse.

2. 813 Main Street, located between a popular restaurant and the recently opened art gallery.

3. 1212 First Street, the former location of Merrill’s Drug Store.

4. 1011-1017 Coombs Street, located directly across from Bookends Bookstore.

5. 1350 Third Street, more commonly known as the Uptown Theater.

So come on Anna, Howard, Muriel, George and Brian, get with it.  Either rehabilitate and return your properties to productive use or turn them over to someone who can.

Or, as a minimum, refurbish your building’s façade so it doesn’t detract from other buildings.  Weathered, haphazardly nailed plywood with cute adolescent comments on the marquee don’t help.

Because in this instance, if you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem.  And it’s high time these property owners quit sticking it to those who are trying to improve downtown Napa.

As to those who respond by wrapping themselves in the sanctity of Private Property Rights, I’d like to point out that with rights come responsibilities. 

And the owners of these properties are not being responsible.

Keyser is a Napa businessman.

An Egregious Cultural Heritage Commission Decision

by Skip Keyser

(Originally published by The Napa Valley Register)

In 2003 I wrote a commentary taking some owners of downtown Napa property to task for neglecting their buildings.  I characterized five such properties as Buildings Un-Treated or Tended, Un-Gainly and Literally Yucky for which the acronym B.U.T.T.U.G.L.Y. seemed both accurate and appropriate.

 

Several follow-on articles appeared in the Register and one reporter and I entered into a side bet on whether – 18 months thence – there would be noticeable improvement in any of these properties.  Skeptic to the end, I maintained that, contrary to the owners’ assertions, there would be little if any improvement.

Well, I have some good news, some bad news, and some really disheartening news.

The good news is that two of the properties – George Altamura’s Uptown Theater and the former Fagiani property at 813 Main Street, will soon be substantially upgraded and returned to something of their former glory.  In fact the end result of the work on the Uptown Theater will be a building in better shape and more attractive than it was during its most recent life. 

The bad news is that I neglected to include 1501 Third Street - as derelict and ugly a structure as any in downtown Napa - in the original B.U.T.T.U.G.L.Y. pantheon. 

If you sense a certain sharpness in my characterization of this former gas station, located at the south-west corner of Third and School Streets, it is because my office sits on the north-east corner of the same intersection, and I’ve had the opportunity, almost daily since November 1997, to study this visual blight, replete with its boarded up windows, peeling paint, and persistent use as an ad-hoc helter-skelter parking lot.  For those keeping count, that’s 12 years of in-your-face ugliness.

One might think this property’s problems rest solely with its owners but I submit the City of Napa bears equal responsibility.  As a former gas station, even with underground tanks removed and hydrocarbon contamination remediated, this property is subject to several additional use restrictions.  Without going into detail, former gas stations enjoy no such thing as a Permitted Use (a pre-approved use for which no permit is required).  Instead, such sites exist under what amounts to a Conditional Use categorization, for which a use permit - entailing agency reviews, public hearings and the payment of several thousand dollars - must be obtained for any use.

In the case of 1501 Third Street, the city additionally mandated that no use would be considered without first removing the existing older street lights and replacing all sidewalk curb cuts (costing $30,000 to $40,000 by my estimate) not to mention any ADA improvements or fire suppression upgrades that might also be deemed necessary.  This puts any potential user of this 920 square foot building directly between a rock and a very hard place.

Consequently, lacking any insulation and equipped with rudimentary restrooms, this metal shell has remained unoccupied for lo these many years, blighting an otherwise viable mixed-use neighborhood of residential, office and retail buildings.

So you can imagine my pleasure upon receiving City of Napa notification that the owners of 1501 Third Street had applied for a permit to demolish the building.  Joni Mitchell notwithstanding, if all they did was tear down the building and put up a parking lot, it would be an improvement.

And – this is where the really disheartening news comes in - you might imagine my equal disappointment when a subsequent city notice stated that the Cultural Heritage Commission had denied a Certificate of Appropriateness to authorize demolition.  Somehow, this derelict gas station ended up on the Historic Resources Inventory.

Now this is not a let’s-bash-the-Cultural-Heritage-Commission exercise, but – as Julius Caesar is reputed to have said – ‘Render unto me a fracture!’  I’m all in favor of retaining historical structures, especially in light of Napa’s 1970’s redevelopment efforts, but this decision fails to pass either the smell or common sense tests.  In short, get a grip! 

At my advanced age I think I have as finely honed an appreciation for retaining old things as anyone, but contrary to the opinion of some, old does not necessarily confer sanctity.  The structure at 1501 Third Street has outlived its useful life and – given the economics of both the site and the use restrictions placed on it by the City of Napa – ought to be allowed to gracefully (albeit quickly) join the list of other structures with no redeeming civic potential that have been allowed to fade into memory.

And – as we strive for a revitalized downtown Napa – we ought to applaud and assist efforts of the 1501 Third Street owners to move forward rather than throwing up an arbitrary and ill-advised Historic Resources Inventory roadblock.

Skip Keyser is a local Realtor

50 Years [Married] and Counting

by Skip Keyser

I had the opportunity to attend the celebration of a friend’s 50^th wedding anniversary the other day.  Like weddings – and funerals – one ought to attend these functions, not only ought of respect for the individuals involved, but because they provide a mirror in which to reflect on one’s own situation.  Under the right circumstances they provide a time for reflection.  They are, in short, a benchmark of how each of us is progressing through life.

This particular gathering was very pleasant, with ample room, good weather, good food and drink, and enough acquaintances so that one didn’t feel out of place.  As with most such celebrations, it had been organized by the couples children and their spouses.  There were three generations of this family in attendance and it was obvious, besides just being related, that they thought highly of one another.

What wasn’t obvious, but what was the sine qua non of the occasion, was how this couple had managed to remain married for 50 years. 

Now some, having read the last sentence, might come to the conclusion that this particular couple had had a difficult time over the last five decades, but that obviously didn’t appear to be the case.  Judging by the photo montage at the entrance to the banquet room, the individuals whose marriage we were celebrating had known each other long enough before they wed to be certain they were doing the right thing.

Instead, the question of how a couple remains married for 50 years is a generic question, particularly in light of the social – and societal - turmoil between 1953 and 2003.

In 1953 we had just extricated ourselves from the Korean Conflict, coming on the heels of WWII, and for those who don’t recall the era, we were hard into the Cold War.  Social upheaval, what it was like in 1953

Several other couples commented on the length of their own marriages.  Some had been married for more than fifty years, although I don’t recall talking to anyone who had been married for more than 60.  Most of us still had a ways to go before worrying about a 50^th wedding anniversary.

There’s the first marriage and then, having learned certain lessons, there’s the second – and hopefully, lasting - marriage.

These people got it right from the start.

But I also sensed a certain Midwestern stubbornness accompanied by a sense that “we set out to do this thing and we’re going to see it through come what may.”  This was underlined by the fact that the couple in question had purchased the centerpiece wine for this celebration over 20 years ago.  There was no doubt in their mind that they’d celebrate their 50^th wedding anniversary.  I suspect that lurking in some back closet in their house may be another bottle put aside for their 75^th.  If so, I hope we’re all around to celebrate with them.  In a sea of change, it’s nice to have a landmark by which to chart one’s course.

Skip Keyser writes from Napa

Never Argue with an Idiot…

by Shirley Perkins, Ryan Gregory, Rex Stults & Skip Keyser

(Originally Published by The Napa Valley Register, March 9, 2005)

The title to this commentary is the opening line in a philosophy for dealing with mis-truths, half-truths, flat out lies and the commentary recently published in this paper. It goes something like this:

“Never argue with an idiot – bystanders may not be able to tell the difference.”

However, the commentary in question was so fragrantly egregious in its characterization of the Leadership Napa Valley program (hereinafter “LNV”) that clarification is demanded.

LNV is a program of Leadership Napa Valley Foundation, Inc., an IRC 501(c)(3) non-profit California corporation.  It is operated under the auspices of a 23-member board of directors and is a member of the California Association of Leadership Programs (CALP). To date approximately 532 individuals have completed – or are about to complete – LNV. 

The stated purpose of LNV can be found at www.leadershipnapavalley.com.  Readers of this column – particularly those interested in participating in LNV - should visit this web site.  Regardless, the purpose of LNV is to:

• Develop leadership skills of current and future leaders.
• Educate current and future leaders about a broad range of community programs and issues.
• Introduce emerging leaders to each other and to current Napa Valley leadership.
• Encourage informed individuals to serve in community leadership positions.

LNV starts each September and finishes the following June .The program is currently mid-way thorough it’s 18^th class, each of which is composed of approximately 28 members, together with a program coordinator and a day coordinator for each “day” as follows:

Leadership

Team Building & Problem Solving

Business & Industry

Human Services

Planning & Development

City & County Government

Tourism

Education

Legal Justice

Agriculture/Wine Industry

Current Issues

Class Project Presentations

This curriculum, as well as organizational policies and all other aspects of LNV – particularly the selection of class members – is the sole prerogative of the board of directors.  It is specifically not under the control of Jill Techel - current City of Napa council member and candidate for Mayor in the upcoming election – who does not serve on the LNV board.

This is not to say Ms. Techel isn’t involved with LNV.  She currently serves – at the pleasure of the board of directors and subject to their control and direction – as the program coordinator, the third such person to serve in that capacity.  And, in fairness to Ms. Techel’s demonstrated capabilities as a leader, the board seeks her advice and counsel on matters pertaining to policy and curriculum.  However, the ultimate decision rests with the board.

This is particularly true with regard to selection of class members, in which Ms. Techel has no voice.  Members of each class are selected based on written applications, personal and professional references, demonstrated community involvement, willingness to continue such involvement, and personal interviews.  Neither political philosophy, lifestyle orientation, race, creed, color nor any of the other “selection criteria” alleged by the recent commentary enters into this process.

Nor, in keeping with its IRC 501(c)(3) status, does Leadership Napa Valley Foundation endorse political candidates.

Nor, insofar as can be ascertained from the Registrar of Voters – and as evidenced by the current City of Napa Council - is graduation from the LNV program a prerequisite to candidacy for – or election to - political office.

As to selection of applicants, LNV is probably a victim of its own success, inasmuch as there are typically two to three times the number of applicants for each class as can be accommodated by the program.  Of necessity, a significant number of highly qualified and very capable candidates therefore fail of selection.  Such choices are not lightly undertaken, and the recruitment and selection process takes several months.  In the event, some 60+ candidates are finally winnowed down to 28 selectees.

Realizing that failing to be selected for LNV can be difficult, it is LNV’s policy that those not selected be encouraged to reapply for the next class.  However, non-selectees are not given any special consideration and their application is weighed equally with first-time applicants. 

Applications for LNV can be obtained at the City of Napa Chamber of Commerce or by writing to LNV, PO Box 636, Napa CA 94559.  The deadline for Class XIX is April 30^th so there is still plenty of time to apply.  All interested individuals – including the author of the recent commentary - are encouraged to apply.

And anyone who has an interest in or reservations about the conduct of LNV is encouraged to attend our monthly board meeting, held the third Friday of each month at the Napa Chamber of Commerce, starting at 8:15 am.  We serve coffee and donuts.

Shirley Perkins is President of the LNV Foundation, Ryan Gregory is Vice President, Rex Stults is Secretary and Skip Keyser is Treasurer.